Emily the French Bulldog

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Emily the French Bulldog

Janie Brown, Editor

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Hi! My name is Emily and I am a French Bulldog. I am 9 years old and have lived with my current family for 7 years. When they found me, I was at a rescue facility because my previous owner passed away.

Some would say that I’m lazy and sleep all the time. The main reason I sleep all the time is because I have literally nothing else to do. I am allergic to basically everything: trees, grass, air, you name it. Since I am allergic to so much, I am constantly itching.

For Christmas my family got me this really cool bone that tastes like bacon. I chew on it all the time. Don’t tell anyone but Janie is my favorite owner. She does all sorts of stuff with me. A long time ago she used to take me on walks but I didn’t really like it and she had to carry me back home. Janie feeds me treats and sometimes table scraps when no one is looking. Look! Here she comes now!!

“Hi, Emily!!”

“Bonjour, Madame!”

“Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions?”

“Oui.”

Sometimes I like to talk in French just to confuse her. The only language she knows is English and she’s human. I am only a dog and I’m bilingual.

“Do you enjoy being outside?”

“No. Not very much. Sometimes, if it is hot outside, I like to lie down on the warm concrete but other than that, I despise being outside.”

“What is your favorite treat?”

“Sometimes, I get fed vegetables which I quite enjoy. I also love cheese, turkey, and popcorn.”

“What do you hate the most about being a dog?”

“Almost every week my family brings out this gigantic black contraption that moves over the carpet and sucks up whatever is on it. I think they call it a vacuum. It makes the loudest noise and blows air all around. I am determined that it is out to get me. As a result, I attack it ferociously.”

“What is the most useless talent you have?”

“It is not really a talent, but if I start to itch, I am able to spin around in a circle sitting vertically. I only fall over sometimes; that’s why I consider it a talent.”

“When you have those funny dreams where you kick and growl in your sleep, what are you dreaming of?”

“It varies. Sometimes the vacuum is coming to attack me, sometimes it’s little kids poking me and calling me cute, and then sometimes I am being chased by much bigger animals than I.”

“How do you spend your time when we are not home?”

“I literally sleep the entire time. While you are at school for 8 hours, I sleep for 8 hours. Somehow I manage to sleep all night long too. I am a very lazy dog.”

“Well Emily, thank you very much for your time!”

“Anything for you, Madame! Au revoir!”

 

About the Writer
Janie Brown, Editor

Janie Brown is a junior at BHS and plays the quints in the drumline. This is her first year on The Posted Paw staff. When she is not doing homework, she...

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