Nasty Gnats

Lorelei Yarbrough, Staff Writer

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Dear Bethel,

Hello, hi, hey, and after visiting Mr.Caudle, bonjour !

I’m here to address the swatting and waving your arms around whenever my friends and I fly by, or you keep hitting us when we take a seat to learn. I’ve had hundreds of siblings smeared across desks, arms, faces, textbooks, worksheets–all because you find us slightly annoying.  We really can’t help that we are attracted to your sweet smelling sweat and the lovely salt on your hands and we promise that we are mostly here for the leftover snack break crumbs smooshed in the carpet, beginning to mold and smell, yum!

Please know we want to learn too. We were especially involved in English when that one class, I think  Newspaper, was painting pumpkins that would soon decay and would be a tasty treat. We had a great time helping the AP kids with their very important papers, but they didn’t seems to enjoy us wiggling and flying around all over. Even a teacher, Mrs. Jones, did not seem to enjoy our zealous company during her photosynthesis lab that involved plants in cups filled with sweet sugary water. We enjoyed the class, with all the buzzing around, the sweet water and messing with the kids, but the class clearly did not enjoy us or our enthusiasm.

After being rudely treated by the kids, us gnats investigated the red cups with sweet strong smells. We have been strongly attracted to these red cups with apple cider vinegar, white sugar, and dish soap, several have jumped in forgetting that we are gnats and cannot swim. Many lives have been lost. But us gnats keep going. Living 7-10 days, we have an adventurous life… but don’t worry about us being gone. Laying 100 and up to 300 hundred eggs, we will be ‘round for a while helping and showing our best support by flying around your paper.

Us gnats like to stay and live at Bethel because of its moist dark places, like in the soil of potted plants or drains. We stay on the far side of the hall close to the rooms with sinks, so we can stay close to are comforting moist dark homes. We also love socializing with Mrs. Johnson and Mrs. Sullinger on the far side of the hall, so we can hurry back if need be. The cold season is starting to come upon us too soon and my population will slowly die down. As of now, the moist gloomy weather is perfect so you do not have to worry about us leaving soon. I know you would miss us so dearly, from us buzzing and helping with paper, admiring and getting caught in your hair, flying absentmindedly around and into noses and mouths. Until the next season with us great gnats, we know you’ll miss us!


 Sincerely, The Gnats